Today’s dental x-rays revealed that I had two cavities. Yea, I know it’s weird right? Colgate smiling ole me. 20 years of A+ teeth in all my previous dentists’ grade-book. Being the best over-dramatic female in the game this basically meant the world was ending …
On my way home, I found myself breaking down in tears asking “why me? What did I do to deserve this”.–Now I am a person that rarely shows my tears, so it caught me off guard when I couldn’t hold the flood of emotion in any longer. I consider crying as a sign of weakness that grants others inside access to our emotions. –I’ve heard that the eyes are the window to the soul so I try not to drench others when it’s raining in here. Some pull out their umbrellas and stay for a while eventually growing weary and cold, while others immediately run to avoid getting “involved” in the rain. The rare few are the ones to bring sunshine, but they don’t come around too often.
So I keep it in. . .Until time has proven that this individual will help walk me through the storm expecting nothing in return.
So there I was driving home, fogging my own windshields with these things we call tears, yet I had just let the most important person in my heart see me at my low point. Instead of leaving, he reminded me that he had died and risen for this. If you never experience fear, then for what reason will you need faith in him? Without loss, why would you need restoration? A time of mourning and gloom is the only reason one longs for joy and peace.
Funny thing is, a week before I had been bragging to my mom on how my teeth were oh so “perfect” and now I had reality drill me in the tooth. My dentist had caught the cavities at their beginning stages so there would be less drilling and more preservation of the teeth. Then the Holy Spirit’s wisdom hit me again, “At times God may need to drill things out of you before they get bigger and become more toxic. He will fill you up so that you are hardly ever the same. Though new “thing” may not feel comfortable at first it will help carry you through.
They drugged me with anesthesia, and the dental assistant kept tapping my head to distract me from the pain. “Tap tap tap tap” she chanted, as she continued hitting my forehead. Distractions may help ease the pain, but the aftermath is that you will feel it until it heals, and remember it even after it has passed. And that healing aids in renewing your strength to an even greater level. In Romans 15:13 Paul sincerely says:
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (NLT)
The moment the dentist said I had those cavities ,I can honestly say all my faith slipped away. True joy comes when you realize that you are literally nothing without the hand of God, but holding to faith allows God complete control to give you his best. I had forgot this. When my dentist finished filling my teeth she said, “you are now cavity free” yet I still cringed with sadness and even doubt of the cavities existence, but upon reflection I realized that ultimately nothing else matters without Him. A mouthful of teeth for a lifetime and eternal separation from God or two “bad” teeth, and everlasting relationship with my Heavenly Father. I’ll take the latter. Other people have bigger problems so, teeth or no teeth I’ll still smile, and no one can take that away. Teeth decay, the hottest styles decay, friendships decay, and eventually we decay… But this Joy that He gives doesn’t and life with Him is eternal. 🙂