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Kwani A. Lunis

Multimedia Journalist

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wisdom

SO Cliché

They say only a fool makes the same mistake twice, so call me such. It’s beyond my control, but don’t they also say that you can’t help who you fall in love with? Ah to be young and foolish. . . But I’m “older and wiser”, so where do you draw the line? “Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” I have faith in what we could be, but is it too much? I may be just putting all my eggs in one basket, but it’s the only basket I had. 

“Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’” I guess I’m stuck between “a rock and a hard place”, cuz I mean I don’ t really need you, but sometimes I tell myself I do. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and gosh am I fond of you.

Cliche. “A phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.” that’s how Google defined it for me. They helped me express how I felt, but that’s not what I’m looking for. Overused. Lacks original thought. Naw I’ll pass, but these feelings I have are bugging me, and they’re so original that a cliche couldn’t help me express it. I’ve felt this before, but it was different. I told myself it was love before but I was being…“young and foolish”. Yea the things you’ve said gives me fuzzy feelings [but then again did you even mean them], but I remember the last time warm words led me to cold nights. I’d rather not history repeat itself, so show me. Don’t feed me cliche lines as I sit trying to interpret their meanings. Words give us something to fall back on when we get lazy, disappearing into thin air with no concrete evidence. “but I told you I loved you”. Love isn’t what “your country can do for you, but what you can do you your country” [Insert person’s name in place of country]. We’re all “looking for love” when really it’s right in front of us. Love is a decision you make, not some cheesy romantic chic flick. You’re probably tired of reading this, just as I am of writing this, cuz it’s all words. Nothing you haven’t heard before, because we’ve made the very word itself cliche. 

If you love someone let em go… keep on loving them and let ’em know. “I don’t know much about algebra but I know one, plus one equals two.” (yea I know I quoted Beyonce, don’t judge me), but sorry Bey it equals one. A bond that can’t be broken. So keep on loving; family, friends, enemies and especially that person you wanna call yours.

Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails… (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

That’s love, and loving like that is no cliche at all. I try to love like this, as we all should, but it does take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is love…[you get where i’m going]. Of course I have to quote Shakespeare the most commonly “overused” romance writer of all, but he did say,”The course of true love never did run smooth.” You’ll know it’s love when there’s nothing cliche about it. 

Foolish Love

I’ve fallen in love once. Well it wasn’t exactly a fall, more like a slow motion tumble, but before I knew it I found myself at one of the lowest points of my life…waiting for the person that made me feel on top of the world to pull me out. Oh the irony.  I was young and naive, but I was “in love”. It was me and you, forever and always, but at 17 anything is possible right? I thought you were everything; always on my mind, and forever in my heart. You were It. Without the experience of “being in love”, comes the vulnerability to a Utopian idea of what true love is, not realizing there’s more to it than passionate kisses and recurring “I Love Yous”. Love is the sacrifice, the endurance through tough times, the selflessness when all you want to do is be selfish. It’s not Valentines’ day bears, or everyone saying you guys look good together;  It’s the bond that’s created when no one is looking. The union of two that ultimately makes both of you stronger. Love isn’t for you, but for the person you say you love. Love letters, and kind words are nice, but love is a verb, a lifestyle, and deed done without second thought. Funny how I learned what love was by experiencing what it was not. I stumbled into what I thought was love, but  that foolishness is what makes the sharp- eyed blind. It makes you forget the important things, like God and Family. It’s not even worthy of being called “love”. I forgot myself, and God and became consumed with who you were, and that’s where I went wrong.

If God is Love, than Love is God, but that doesn’t make the one you love a god, and if that’s the case then you’re doing it all wrong. I thought you were my first love, but in fact God was and that’s the only way to get it right. When you realize that Jesus was in fact that First Love, then it all falls into place. God loving you more than you could ever love yourself sets high standards for that man who says he loves you now. I doubt this man will die on a cross for you, but he sure as hell better come close to it. To whom much love is given much more is expected. We all want love, but are we willing to give it just the same?  All my life I’ve searched for this love from little boys who told me I was pretty, when it was right in front of me all along. God’s love. It took me 20 years, but I know that I won’t be able to fully love a man until I can fully love God, and I’d rather not give a man any less if I expect just as much.  As Maya Angelou taught me, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God, that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” Call me old fashioned, but I’m no longer looking for love. “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” I’ll  just continue to hide in plain site as you search mister.

There’s so much to learn, but why not learn it from the original author of this thesis we call Love. It’s not as complicated as reality TV and romance novels make it, but one can’t fully understand it until they’ve had the right professor. I’ve fallen in love once, and to that I say “never again”. Next time I’d rather climb up with the one I love as we pull each other to the peak; growing closer to God and each other. And the thing that makes it so special is that there’s no rush. “Til death do us part” leave a whole lifetime of exploration, so stop rushing that thing you think is love and take time to enjoy the scenery, or you’ll be right where I was stuck in that hole called “foolish love”, waiting for the wrong person to pull you out.

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